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Re: [HoB/D] Archbishop Kolini says "primates are like God the father"

I am impressed by the high level of clarity and mutual respect with
which you have stated your positions.  You  make me proud to be a member
of this House.   You have set a very high standard for all of us who
address these issues.

I am especially impressed by the beauty and lack of ambiguity in the
positions stated by Dr. XXXX and Father XXX.  At times it has seemed so
complete and comfortable a system that I have found myself saying,
"Wouldn't it be nice to go there?"

There's the rub.  There's no way I can 'get in' and preserve the
integrity of my experience of the transforming grace of Jesus Christ in
my own life.  Been there.  Done that.  I lived within that system for 28
years, repenting of my identity, struggling to be someone else, almost
joining my life with the woman who the psychologist said would save me
if I didn't scare her away by telling her of my dominant homosexual
feelings. I valued  her too much to make her an unwitting party to the
psychologist's experiment.  I told her.  We stopped dating.  I wandered
alone, unable to change my plumbing and hating myself. I  left God since
he would not answer my prayers that he change me into a heterosexual.  I
buried myself in a series of anonymous encounters, the only alternative
that seemed open to me. They only confirmed my self-loathing. Then when
I thought I had reached bottom, God spoke to me through the love of
another man as clearly as God spoke to Peter on the rooftop in Joppa:
"Call not unclean anyone whom I have made."  For the first time I
discovered my wholeness.

The Old English word HAL gives us three words in modern English:  "hale"
(=healthy, as in "hale and hearty"), "whole," and "holy."  I learned
that they are still the same.

> Can God speak with more than one voice?  It seems that if you and I had
> a mutual friend who said one thing to me and another to you with the 
> result that we were pitted against each other, we would think that 
> friend duplicitous and a false friend.  Similarly, we cannot assume 
> that God would willingly violate the unity of the Church for which 
> Christ prayed, and for which we are commanded to pray, by saying 
> diametrically opposite things to various members of the Church.  
> Again, the fault must lie with our hearing.

Was the fault in Peter's hearing or in the hearing of the majority
before him who knew full well that God did not want them partaking of
the things Peter saw on that sheet?

If God forbids unilateral action, why did he go only to Peter?  Why did
God not have every Jew wake up that morning ready to go to General
Convention and say unanimously, "We were wrong, and we will now change
our policy"?

I too believe in absolute truth.  But I also believe that our faith
systems are at best dirty glasses through which we try to perceive it.
I too long to see God face to face, to know God even as God right now
fully knows me.  But I am not looking God face to face yet, except, (and
it is a very important exception) as I allow myself to see God's face in
yours, especially in the faces of  the least among us.

My faith is messy, yes.  Often I have found myself mistaken.    I may
be wrong about homosexuality.  I am not wrong about God, I believe,
whose name is Love, whose name is Beloved, whose name is Lover.

Jesus found his own Judaism messy when He encountered the importunate
Syro-Phonecian woman, but he changed his mind.  How wondrous that the
Lord of the Universe could change his mind!

God speaks in many voices in the bible.  At times bible demands
sacrifices; at other times the psalmist tells us that the only sacrifice
that God requires  is a broken and contrite heart.

Did God really require circumcision as all Jews maintained?  Was that a
mistake?  Or was it for one dispensation only?  Are there no new
dispensations possible?

At times I have found myself stifling a desire to shout during the creed
"who proceedS from the father and the son," as if trapped in a church
that believes God can say no new thing.

St. Paul suggests that we can test those who claim to be Christian by
discerning whether they manifest the fruits of the spirit.   That's a
messy way, fraught with possible errors.  Pray for me as I make my


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