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Re: You seen this? [On cures for homosexuals]
> Jeff, a 35-year-old computer technician, believes if he
> loves Jesus enough he will stop having sex with men. Marc, a 39-year-old
> father of four, studies the Bible with the hope it will make him stop
> having homosexual affairs.
> Both men live in an unusual group home. It has only gay residents and is
> run by Love In Action, an independent Memphis ministry whose leaders
> preach that gays can become heterosexual through Christian faith and
> will pay a price if they don't.
> In December, the American Psychiatric Association's board rejected
> Christian-based therapy, saying it could cause depression, anxiety and
> self-destructive behavior for gays. The American Psychological
> Association reached a similar conclusion a year earlier.
> Steven Baines, a gay Southern Baptist minister and member of Equal
> Partners in Faith, a Washington, D.C., group that preaches religious
> tolerance and inclusion, said campaigns like the one started by the
> Christian groups can be dangerous.
> We have to stop rhetoric that demonizes individuals simply because they
> attracted to the same gender, said Baines
> from The Baltimore Alternative
Thanks for sharing.
My views are not popular with anyone on this issue.
I am an absolutist about free-speech issues. The best response to bad
speech is good speech.
Some forms of gay sexuality, like some forms of heterosexuality, are
destructive; and persons caught in them need help. Compulsive sex;
abusive set; promiscuous sex....for examples.
Many of the accounts that I read by ex-gays move me: In my late 20s and
early 30s [now I am 62] I found myself caught in compulsive sexuality and
promiscuous sex: those patterns reek havoc with one's soul and manifest
God had much better news. I spent much of my life praying to become
straight. God answered that prayer, but in a way that I had not
anticipated: Instead of making me straight, God opened my eyes to ways of
living responsively as a gay man, integrating intimacy and spirituality.
I have spent much of ministry trying to promote healthy, safe environments
for persons to relate as whole persons so that intimacy may flow from
wholeness and holiness. What I read in some of the literature by ex-gay
'healers' suggests that we have many goals in common.
The problem I have is in 'truth in advertising'; and both sides often err
in this, I believe. Whatever lesbigays say to the contrary
notwithstanding, some persons who are overwhelmingly lesbigay can and do
make successful heterosexual adaptations; i.e., they are able to function
successfully heterosexually, albeit less inclined to be prompted
heterosexually than homosexually by their involuntary plumbing. We fall
in love with persons, not with sexuality, not with the plumbing.
Sexuality is integral to relationships, but not definitive, not even in
If a homosexual person is able to adapt heterosexually, the heterosexual
partner deserves at the very least full disclosure. I remember as an
undergraduate asking my psychologist whether I should tell my girl friend
that what she took to be prompted by her was prompted only by my fantasy
of a male, the psychologist replied: Your behavior will finally come
round, but don't dare tell her: that will break the spell.
He broke the spell, all right. I never went back to his game of hocus
pocus again. I valued my friend much too much to place her in jeopardy
without even her knowledge, much less her consent.
Persons who commit to one another for life-long faithful intimacy should
find each other attractive. Yet, if we are fortunate enough, we will live
long enough together to see many others with whom we can't possibly
compete in the area of physical blossom. In the meantime, however, as our
love matures, we discover many other dimensions of physical attraction
with which blossom alone cannot compete. "Grow old along with me; the
best is yet to be."
We don't choose the world we live in, but we who follow Christ choose to
live into Christ's ideal, the law of Love.
Those who promote healings often make the error that a recovering
alcoholic makes if the alcoholic not only goes cold turkey herself but
also insists that every other person quit cold turkey too.
Not all lesbigay sex violates wholeness. Not all lesbigay sexuality
occurs promiscuously or abusively. The alcoholic is sad when he attacks as
evil those who drink in moderation. The 'healer' himself looks very
suspicious who cannot distinguish between lesbigay intimacy that is
destructive and lesbigay intimacy that is whole and responsible.
L Crew, Box 30, Nwk, NJ 07101 973-485-4503.
There are 230 days until the end of the 1900s.