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Re: Unicorns in the marriage bed

One of the grave dangers for lesbigays in participating in this discussion
is that we might actually believe that we somehow have to be good enough
to 'deserve' the status of Christian marriage.  Often the case is made for
us in terms that suggest our merits:  'Look at Bill and John:  they are an
ideal couple.  Look at Susan and Mary:  what nicer people could you know? 
Surely their relationships deserve our blessing.'

I am much more convinced of God's sacramental presence in my marriage by
the times that each is least lovable than I am by the times each is
decent.  When each of us is sweet and kind, as each is much of the time,
the other would be foolish not to love him.  But when one of us is his
worst self, how else can the other respond with yet greater love and
kindness save by God's blessing?  That's an outward sign of an inward
grace--not ours but God's.

Maybe heterosexuals have struck a different bargain, justifying their
marriage state by how good they are?  That surely won't work for us.

'I Louie, do take thee Ernest to be my beloved spouse, to have and to
hold, to love and to cherish, for better or for worse, in sickness and in
health, for richer or for poorer, till death do us part, so help me God.'



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