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"Most people don't want to hear about sin."



> Many people don't want to hear about sin.  

Your point is true in the main, but as many apply the observation to
lesbian and gay Christians, it is a distortion--applied sometimes out of
ignorance, at other times out of malice.

Lesbigay Christians that I know are quite concerned about our sins.  I
certainly am about mine, and take them before the altar of God daily for
forgiveness and healing.  Confession and repentance are important to my
spirituality. 

My sins are grievous unto me, and the burden of them is intolerable.

I do not understand my sins in the way that you insist that I understand
them, however.  I have never confessed as a sin the fact that I love my
husband, but I have all too often had to confess that I do not love him
enough, namely as much as I love myself.  

While some see my sins as the sexual gymnastics which they imagine in
their hearts, the sins that beset me are much more painful because so
persistently ordinary:  selfishness and pride, insensitivity to the poor,
stinginess to beggars, frequent lack of empathy, impatience with my
enemies.....  I invite your prayers for me as I struggle with these sins
and, with God's help, experience victory. As St. Paul bade his friend
Philemon in yesterday's epistle, so I bid you, "Refresh my heart in
Christ." 

Do not misrepresent me as 'unrepentant.' The terms of this meeting allow
you to maintain without any criticism your perception of what my sins are,
but they do not entitle you to misrepresent me as unconcerned about what I
understand my sins to be.  If indeed I lived as one who claimed to have no
sins or to be unconcerned about the one I have, you would have every
reason not to welcome me.

Nor do I need to hear from those who disagree with me again and again all
the points of their side.  I am not a dummy; nor am I hard of hearing.  I
have not come to my understandings of God's will in these matters lightly.
I have spent decades in spiritual struggle.  I know well that eternal life
is at stake.  My life has dramatically changed as my response to the high
calling of Christ, as those near to me know and attest. It would be wrong
to suggest that I have not weighed the cost as Jesus bade us in
yesterday's gospel. 

It would also be wrong to suggest that I preach 'gay is good.'  I believe
that 'gay is neutral' but a lot harder lot than being straight, and not a
pilgrimage one would likely choose.  

Instead, I preach that God is Good.  I do not intend to appear before the
Throne of Grace trusting in my own righteousness, but in God's manifold an
great mercies.

While I am grateful for genuine help in discerning my sins, Jesus's
counsel causes me to distrust those who have overmuch time to devote to
what is obstructing my vision.  The beams in my own eye give me little
time or clarity of vision to remove the obstructions in theirs.

Heavenly Murine!  may God shower us all with discernment and compassion.

Lutibelle of the Lambeth Lepers Belles/Louie

      Louie Crew, English Dept., Rutgers, Newark, NJ 07102 973-485-4503
           Chair, Rutgers University Senate.  Board of Governors.
                        http://newark.rutgers.edu/~lcrew






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