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[HoB/D] The revisionists who scare me
"YOU in my father's kingdom?! Do you believe in some kind of cheap
grace? Get real. Now repeat after me, very slowly and clearly, 'I
believe in God, the Father Almighty, maker of Heaven and .....'"
-- Jesus speaking from the cross
"Now if you want any help from me, you've got to take responsibility.
You got yourself into this mess, and you need to confess that very
loudly and clearly so that no Gospel writer will forget to underscore
it. These men have a perfect right to stone you, but if you will
make a loud enough confession, I'll see what I can do to help you.
But don't you ever, ever commit adultery again! Do you hear me!?
-- Jesus in the public square
I really should not be out here talking to you. You understand that,
I hope. And don't be telling anyone else about this conversation
lest somebody misunderstand my compassion. Before you can drink any
of my living water, you have got to leave your current lover and go
back to your very first husband. And I expect you to tell everyone
how bad you have been. Then I'll see what I can do for you.
-- Jesus at Jacob's Well
Mother! Here you go messing in my business again. They don't need
any more wine. After all, they have been drinking over a week.
This is precisely the kind of occasion for which God made Welch's
grape juice. After all, this scene must look very proper,
because the Polaroids will be here to preserve it as an icon for
Christian marriage. Now smile. Just say 'Cheesus.'
-- Jesus at Cana
Such blasphemies are endless.
Lutibelle/Louie, L2 Newark